I'm not in a relationship..
It's just..
I'm in love with someone I can't unlove..
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I’m here too..
You know one thing I’ve learned while learning to be alone is..
You’re expected to be okay by everyone else.
You’re expected to put on that smile, give out that positivity.
Nobody wants to hear what happened, nobody wants to hear the sadness you carry… nobody wants to be put down from telling my experience.
You’re expected to be there.
I know, I know I don’t HAVE to be there for anyone, I’ve been given this beating, yet aching heart and I use it to care for others more than I have for myself.
When it’s just me and this beating heart, we’re mean to each other, but when it’s me, this beating heart and someone else were the nicest, most caring you’ve ever met.
You’re expected to fake it.
You’re there for others, but how often can someone just be there for you…once.
A walk, a talk on the phone, a movie, just something so I know that maybe I don’t have to feel like this.
But I do… feel.. alone.
That’s the whole point of healing to be by yourself, right?
I didn’t think alone actually meant alone.
I thought it was making new connections, hearing different understandings, seeing different perspectives…
But nobody sees yours.
All you can say is… that’s okay.
All you can say is.. no I’m okay!
All you can do is… be there.
When you’re silently suffering from just needing someone to hear you, to see you, to show you.
Maybe this is it..
“The one that didn’t want to feel… alone.”
I want to drown.
NOW.
Improve yourself, then prove others wrong.
moonbeamsandcoffeethings